Living in a Hotel

To start with, living in a hotel felt like the dream – room service on tap, a pool and gym, restaurant food every night and not having to clean the apartment.

However, in reality, it is so different from what I expected.

In the space of 4 days I have already managed to eat all the delicious things on the room service menu, a menu my husband assures me will not change as it hasn’t changed since he was here last time 6 months ago. My other options are to go out and leave my tired husband in by himself in a quest to find something different to eat or alternatively suck it up and stop being so spoilt. I think I’ll have to suck it up.

The people that you encounter in a hotel when you live there are extraordinary. They comment on the most bizarre features,  not the beautiful pool or the amazing sea view or even the ridiculously wide range of breakfast options but rather the hotel lights in the lobby or the carpets… Weird.

It is quite amusing however when somebody strikes up a conversation with you and asks how long you’re on holiday for, they definitely don’t expect you to say that you live there!

Generally, however, people do keep themselves to themselves apart from the gentleman that decided to try and force feed me dates yesterday in the hope that I would come to like them … No, I don’t like them even if they are fresh and not dried…

The other noticeable thing is that holidaymakers constantly try to out-do each other on the best position around the pool. No one talks about it but when someone deliberately puts their sun lounger directly in front of yours there’s no denying that they’re vying for the better spot. What makes this all the more amusing is that still nobody actually says anything they just huff and puff and make snide comments to their Mrs – you know however who will be jumping straight in there as soon as the space becomes free again.

There are also the peace-breakers … We all know who they are. Plonk themselves down on a chair next to you and immediately start playing their s***e music for all to hear, clearly thinking they’re the coolest people in the resort, some of them even start dancing which is incredible to think we’re in a dry hotel with no alcohol!

Those and the pool bombers that soak a whole group of chilled people through and think it’s hilarious. Both of these types of people deserve a special place in hell.

I’ll keep you updated with any new and exciting traits I see in the next few weeks but these are the first few that will, I’m sure, keep me amused for some time.

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